


i hate that my heart sometimes wavers

by sinemoras09



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Abuse, Gen, Remorse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:54:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21916321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinemoras09/pseuds/sinemoras09
Summary: A fight. Rick/Diane, pre-series. No spoilers.
Relationships: Diane/Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty: The Rickshank Rickdemption)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	i hate that my heart sometimes wavers

**Author's Note:**

> _"You know what Rick? I'll tell you something. I'm more than a human shield!"_
> 
> _"Yeah you're right. You are. You're a perfect impenetrable suit of armor, Morty,  
>  because you're as dumb as I am smart! Which is why when I say 'shut up' it's  
> really good advice."_ -from "Close Rick-counters of the Rick Kind"

"Oh yeah, Diane? You wanna know how I really think about you? Y-y-you wanna know how you fuckin' fit into my world? You're just a fucking hole, Diane. A fucking hole I can stick my dick into. You're easy and convenient but not even the fucking oxytocin hit is enough to make me want to stay with you. I would have left years ago, Diane! Do you get that? I would have fuckin' left! But we have a kid together, Diane, and I'm not a fucking asshole."

Diane curls up into herself. She doesn't look at him. Her eyes grow shiny and wet.

Rick stops. "Oh, fuck..."

Diane blinks, then closes her eyes, tears spilling over.

"Diane--" Rick moves to touch her, but she flinches away from him. "I-I-I didn't mean it."

She cries silently, not looking at him.

"Diane. I-I'm a fucking asshole, okay? I just said that stuff because I knew it would hurt you."

She starts crying harder.

He needs to get a drink. He walks around to the kitchen, refilling his flask, trying to ignore his wife's soft sobs coming from the other room.

He stops at the doorway. Diane is still sitting on the couch, her body hunched over as if guarding a stab wound. Gingerly, Rick steps closer, then carefully sits beside her.

The crying dies down. Now all that's left is a few dry sobs as she takes a breath. Hesitantly, Rick reaches a hand to stroke her arm.

She doesn't look at him. "You're not supposed to want to hurt the people who love you."

"I'm a fucking idiot," Rick says. "Okay? I-I'm so sorry, I love you. You know that."

Diane shakes her head. "I don't want to do this anymore."

"What?"

Rick pulls back. Diane's voice is soft. She doesn't look at him.

"Every time you come home, all you do is hurt me." She lifts her eyes quietly. "I just asked you to spend time with us. I just wanted us to be a family. But then you told me I'm just a hole--"

"Oh Christ," Rick says.

"--and I'm, I'm _convenient_ and you'd leave the first second you could, but you don't because you feel guilty for having a kid with me. I just want someone who loves me and wants to be with me." Her voice breaks. "I love you so much. And you're only with me out of pity."

"I'm not!" Rick says. "Goddammit, Diane! I told you I didn't mean that, you dumb fucking bitch, you never listen to me--"

"'Dumb bitch'? Really, Rick?" Diane looks at him with terrible eyes. "That's not exactly comforting."

"Shit." He sits back on the couch.

Diane wraps her arms around herself, hunching over her knees.

"I want a divorce," she says, quietly. Rick stands up.

"A divorce? The fuck is wrong with you, Diane? Just an hour ago you were begging me not to leave! And now you fucking want a divorce?"

She closes her eyes again, tears spilling as she takes a shuddery breath.

Rick drops his hands. "C'mon, Diane."

She moves her body away from him.

Rick goes to the garage. Beth should be coming out of school soon. Dully he starts putting away the things that were scattered on his workbench. He senses someone standing hesitantly at the door.

In a soft voice, she says, "Rick?"

He turns. Diane's still hugging herself, not looking at him.

"I don't want a divorce, Rick," she says. Rick stands and walks quickly toward her.

She starts to sob again as Rick moves to hug her, pulling her to his chest. Her whole body is shaking, and he presses a firm hand against the back of her head, bending over as he holds her. "I'm so sorry," she sobs, and Rick hugs her.

"No, baby, I'm sorry. I'm a fucking asshole."

Diane sniffs, then laughs ruefully into his chest. "Yes, you are," she says, and her arms tighten around him. He presses a kiss to her forehead.

They have sex. It's comforting and it's the quickest way to restore a sense of normalcy.

"Honey?" Diane says.

"Yeah?" Rick says. She shifts to look up at him.

"Do you think you can stay?"

It's the question that started their fight. He nods, quietly.

"Yeah," he says. He settles her against his chest.

"I can stay a few more days."

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Taeyang's "Only Look At Me", translated into English (I prefer [Jhameel's cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZKZ3BjsYPM) of the song, it's more mournful than the poppy original).


End file.
